I have been struggling with one of my kiddos. She has been having some behavior issues. She is so incredibly smart, and also very strong-willed. Which I know are strengths the Lord has given her.
Teaching and training these kinds of personalities, especially when they are eight years old, can be very challenging. I’m struggling to know how to effectively teach her the importance of maintaining the right attitude while also being respectful of her dad and me.
This has been going on for months now.
However, in the midst of all this, the Lord has been impressing upon me the significance of renewing my mind.
The Lord has been leading me to consider how my thoughts can give me a distorted perception of reality. Our thoughts are powerful! Scripture says that we are “…transformed by the renewing of our minds” Romans 12:2.
So I had to ask myself… if I’m approaching each day and each encounter with my daughter with this subtle thought that she has a bad attitude, is that thought itself causing me to have an incorrect perception of reality? Is that thought causing me to perceive a bad attitude that may not actually be there? Has my vision and judgment been blurred by an assumption that may very well be false?
My Thoughts Affect My Relationships
My thoughts affect my relationships because my thoughts determine my actions and behavior. I must be diligent each and every day to consider the ideas I allow into the doorway of my mind. I don’t want to place any unnecessary strain on the bond I have with my daughter because I’m failing to perceive correctly.
What the Lord has told me is that I need to start slowing down my responses. I need to take a moment before I correct or discipline to objectively evaluate her behavior. Then consider if the problem really is her attitude, or if it’s my incorrect perception.
So, my encouragement to you today is to consider those quiet thoughts lingering in the corners of your mind. Could there be any assumptions or beliefs that are not true? How are those thoughts shaping your ideas of the people you love and care about? Then, pay attention to how you are responding.
I really appreciate your vulnerability on this. I too am struggling with a difficult child who is now 21. She is following the Lord now, which is huge, but it took a brain injury to get her attention. And lots of suffering from not just her, but our whole family. I’m angry she’s put us through so much. I want my thoughts to reflect my love and grace toward her just like Jesus does to me. I’m still processing everything, but want to not think bad thoughts about her. It’s not easy!
Oh Julie! Thank you for your vulnerability also. I will keep you in my prayers. I’m so thankful that we have a God who is very well acquainted with all our weaknesses and yet still invites us to come to His throne of grace to receive mercy and help in these times of need.